An HD Dilemma of Epic Proportions

I love the new world of HD programming. New movies resemble real life and their really is nothing as breathtaking as seeing a shark rip a seal limb from limb in High Definition but their is one place where the HD phenomenon missed the boat. Movies that were originally done previous to HD or BHD (Before High Definition) should stay that way. I'll take everything produced now with that extra sparkle HD provides but please leave Billy Madison the way it was meant to be.

Why would anyone want that? Mainly for the same reasons you wouldn't touch up the Mona Lisa, because the original is always better. Remember how great Rocky looked in all his grainy, poorly lit glory, running the streets of Philly in that gray sweat suit. Now remember what he looked like in Rocky VI? Yeah I never bothered to see it either but I'm willing to bet it was shittier.


The reason Kindergarten Cop is such a favorite is because the film quality is shit and we like it that way. Schwartzengovernor as John Kimble in stonewashed Canadian tuxedos? Does it get better than that? The answer is no, it does not. However, when updated to today's lofty HD standards Kindergarten Cop becomes Shitergarden Flop. Not to mention the updated version looks like the actors were super imposed over a green screen of crappy 90's backgrounds.

Could you ever imagine Billy Madison as unfunny? Watch it in HD and your nightmares will become reality. Principal Anderson certainly does not look better in HD and Farley's striptease goes from funny (BHD) to vomit inducing (AHD) and so do many other scenes in this one time classic. Any time you get Sandler in an REO Speedwagon shirt with Billy Squire bumping in the background you should be thinking cinematic gold not where is the nearest exit. Unfortunately you do the later.


So please HD lay off the movies of the 80's and 90's, they weren't meant to be crystal clear and that's just the way we like it.