The Short Straw: In Defense of the Good Guys

First off, let me say hello to the eight of you that read this thing on a regular basis. I would deem the winter my busy season and blogging frequently becomes a real issue. I think I have the problem solved, so do not fret my friends. ( I think I said that same shit about the summer too, but who cares, it's my blog and I'll make excuses if I want too!)



By no means is today's post an epiphany, in fact there is a whole website devoted to the topic here. Honestly, some of the funnier things I have ever read/seen have been fodder from HCwDB and I commend them for it. Consider this rant cathartic or contemplative, I don't care, I just cannot handle the dating state of affairs anymore.

It seems like everywhere I look the majority of the attractive female population is partnering up with some of the bigger bags of douche that this planet has to offer. Dumbfounding. I'm all for true love but this is getting ridiculous. A woman who is in shape, good looking, intelligent and possesses the many other qualities that make women attractive cannot enjoy being with sloppy, balding, overweight, hairy, incredulous douche. What kind of sex can that be? Sex is supposed to be an experience not a penalty... Seriously, would an Angel fuck a Sasquatch? I doubt it.



I don't nearly have as much of a problem (but I still have qualms) with women who date bloated, orange muscle dudes, at least they are in shape. Dumb? sure, but who can compete with washboard abs? Maybe Chuck Norris but even that might be a stretch. So what your boyfriend resembles a large Oompa Loompa and refuses spell any words larger than 3 syllables at least he wears kick ass graphic t-shirts with skulls and dragons all over them... Who the fuck decided those were cool? I want to meet that person and shake their hand, then punch their face.

In the end, what I am really looking for is an explanation. The idea that love conquers all is great, but to those of us who have experienced and then lost, we know it is bullshit. Is the old adage that money can't buy love actually false? At this point in my slightly impoverished life I would have to say yes. I've seen plenty of chicks with overweight money makers while the dude with the kind voice sits lonely at the bar. And to those women, if you really are with that balding, overweight, money grubbing louse because you actually love him, good for you. Just remember, Chewbacca saved the day and Princess Leia still didn't fuck him.